Part 2: The Inner Struggle - A CEO's Journey

In the rollercoaster ride of business building, there's this pesky voice in my head. I like to call her Bitch Voice. Some days, she’s loud; others, not so much. She points out fears, pressures me about life choices, and tugs at my heartstrings because, well, I'm a softie who loves hard. Her voice also insists I'm disorganized, overwhelmed, and that nobody at fit-flavors really cares about me. I know she’s annoying, and I know she’s spewing lies, but she still gets to me.

When this inner critic gets too much, I get fed up and make a move. I can't stand the constant whining in my head. I definitely prefer winning over whining! Some of my actions, admittedly, make it worse. On the really tough days, her voice brings me down, makes me feel depressed, and even shed a tear or two. But a big move is on the horizon, and I won't let her win.

I get the power of positivity. I know having faith is good, and being hopeful is my duty as a Christian woman. Patience is a virtue, right? But, honestly, I don't feel like these qualities are radiating from me to others like they should.

Running a business is no joke—it's been the toughest thing I've ever done. Every year, it throws new challenges my way. Sometimes, I feel like a chewed-up piece of steak, stomped on and left to rot. I often wonder if I should stop and be content with where we're at. But every time, the answer is a resounding no. Keep going, keep growing. It's never felt like success, though. Money, enough of the right people, the right processes—it always feels just out of reach. It's like success keeps changing the rules whenever we reach a milestone.

So, what would success look like for me and fit-flavors?

Productive & Efficient Team: The right people in the right roles, having genuine relationships and understanding each other's pressures, while executing in their roles.

Financial Freedom: A profitable business, allowing for continued growth and enabling us to pay the team well.

Smooth Operations: Smooth internal processes that keep the business healthy, even if no one sees them from the outside. I like to say all good behind the curtain.

Amazing Culture: A positive vibe, starting with me and spreading through the team, creating a force that elevates the entire company then to the customers and community.

I'm entering a new phase—both in life (turning 40!) and business. I've decided to fully step into the CEO role, bringing in substantial help to run operations, a COO. It's a big move, and I can't fully grasp how much it'll change my life.

There's a part of me that wants to celebrate this new opportunity, but there's also a part that needs to address the inner critic. To excel as a CEO, my being needs to be optimistic and joyful. The joy that building this business stole from me needs to come back. Sacrifices were made, and it sucks to lose joy when I know I have so much inside. People might not get it, but there's a part of me that always feels alone. I want to change these negative thoughts, focus on the positive, and shift my mindset. Heck I should read my book!

So, my goal for 2024 is to find my groove, adopt an optimistic perspective, and release my joy. This is my secret weapon to bring fit-flavors into its true potential. I might not have had the chance before, or maybe God wasn't ready for me to step into this season. I always have to remember God's timing is the best, and I'm subject to it as His obedient follower.

Lord,

Guide me, give me courage and confidence in decision-making. Help me find the right people and bless our endeavors. Correct my shortcomings, and keep me grounded in Your truth. Lead me with Your will, love, and grace. As I seek You, reveal yourself to me in more ways. Help me see You more clearly. Amen.

Yours,

Jillian